I am in the process of printing new business cards.
I ran out of my old ones last week and have been putting off ordering new ones. There are a great deal of changes that are coming in my life in the New Year, and I wanted to make sure that I was able to meet these challenges with a new frame of mind, a regenerated sense of faith and, moreover, a strong and engaged sense of confidence.
So I thought about re-doing my business cards with a different color, maybe a little design in the corner…but then I looked at one of my old cards and read the words stamped into the paper.
On the card it says my name, my credential, a line underneath that says “Psychotherapy and Mediation”, my phone number, fax…and that’s about it. It says nothing about me. If you picked this card up out of a pile of a hundred, it would not catch your eye. It’s boring. It has the same perfunctory information that every other business card has. Nothing makes it stand out. It’s just another card.
So I decided that I was going to change things up a little bit. I’ll keep the phone and fax number, but underneath my name, instead of “Psychotherapy and Mediation”, I have some ideas. The card has to be different. In that space underneath my name, it has to say something more specific. Something memorable. Something that you won’t see on another card, anywhere. Something that just grabs your attention by the collar and gives it a good shake.
My card should say something confident and heroic, like “Ed McShane, Quarterback.” It should give the aura of intelligence, maybe “Ed McShane, Astrophysicist.” Or maybe it should represent truth, justice and the American Way: “Ed McShane, Superman.”
I have thought about dozens of possibilities to use, some descriptive, others informative, and others that make no sense at all: “Ed McShane, Handsome beyond words.” “Ed McShane, Takes No Prisoners.” “Ed McShane, twenty four carat heart of gold.”
I was thinking I could truly reinvent myself and put anything I want on this thing. I mean, really, who cares? What would be the difference if I said I was “Ed McShane, SuperGenius” or “Ed McShane, Cellophane Man?” What would it matter? And to whom? They’re my cards, it’s the image I want to project…I mean, life is short. Why not?
So in a couple of weeks or so I’m going to decide on a card that screams cool, smart, confident, handsome and clever. OK, so I’m probably stretching the truth on the cool and smart part. And maybe the handsome, smart and clever part, too…
But I accept life’s challenge on this one. And life is so short, you know? So I need a little help on this. I don’t want to be the only one engaging in this process. I want all of you to take this challenge, and I want to hear about it. If you had to print out your business cards, and had to put a descriptive few words or phrase underneath it, what would it be? Send it to me at ed.mcshane.com . Let me know what you come up with. I’ll write about the results in the upcoming weeks.
I still have to sift through the phrases that I have in my head. The one I’m leaning toward right now is: “Ed McShane. Yes, THAT Ed McShane…”
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Never a bad Christmas
I met an old friend of mine over a cup of coffee about a week ago. We went to a coffee shop around the corner from his apartment. It's not his usual place, but he's having trouble getting around these days. His movements are deliberate, his gait his slowed, and he gets tired easily.
My friend is my age, has a family, but has needed to take leave from his job. His wife is worried about him all the time. His kids are, too. His condition is getting progressively worse, and his doctor's have told him to take it easy.
This old friend of mine is dying. He has an inoperable form of cancer that has decided to take the express lane through his capillaries in the last few weeks. His doctors, his wife, and his children know that this will be his last Christmas.
Now, I was told of his condition two weeks ago and it didn't really come as a surprise. I have seen him deteriorate in distinct measure and seeing this kind of change really saddened me. When his wife called to confirm my suspicions, I went to see him right away. I thought he could use the time away, and I needed to see him again.
When a friend is dying, the conversation will inevitably turn itself toward his mortality. It just can't be avoided. He knows it, he knows you know it, and the coffee tends to speed up the conversation. Once we both got past the "how are you's" and "man, how about those Chargers?", the words between us began to lag a little, so I thought I’d ask a question that I wanted to know. It was getting late, and I thought I’d just throw this one out there.
I said "Hey. Please forgive me for asking this but I kinda need to know. What will you miss about all this?" waving my hand around the coffee shop.
He said "You mean this dump you dragged me into?"
I said "No, no...I mean, about this. The people. Your family. The memories....what comes to mind that you'd miss?
His first response was almost immediate: "Christmas, man. I'm going to miss Christmas. I'm going to miss the sounds, mostly. All that noise. It's like music to me. And the lights. Man it's like heaven. You know, I figure that heaven has a wing set up for Christmas all year long. No matter what kind of cloud your on, no matte where you are, you can snap your fingers and be anywhere from London during Dickens time or a Christmas from your childhood. I hope I get there...."
I ordered us another couple of cups.
"You know, I look forward to Christmas every year. I start thinking about it in the summer. I hang my first string of white lights around the patio in July. I just don't know a time every year that has such love, such an outpouring of love, built into so many days of the year. In past Christmas', I've been alone, in jail, on the road, and really sick. I've been with strangers, with family, and at work and you know what? I've never, ever had a bad Christmas. Not one. To me, they’ve all been wonderful. Christmas. Whenever there is that much good in the air, whenever we stop thinking about ourselves and begin to think about somebody else with as much energy and focus and love that we do around Christmas, all is good. And I'm going to miss that.
Before I leave this earth, I'm going to tell my kids just that. That Christmas is always good, no matter what. We are here, together, as a family and as a part of the greater whole of love and kindness. I hope that they keep that in their heart always, and I hope that they think of me next Christmas...I will miss them, I guess. You know, I miss them already."
We finished the coffees and headed back to his place. His lights have been since early November and won't come down until mid-January. NASA can see his apartment from satellite photos.
I hugged my friend goodbye, I got into my car, and I drove away. And as I hit the freeway heading home, I softly sang "Oh Holy Night" to myself. And as I looked back over my shoulder to take one last look at my friend's apartment, I thought about him.
Christmas is the gift of each other. Be with somebody this Christmas. If you’re alone, give yourself to the poor, the elderly, and the sick. If you’re with somebody, give of yourself fully to them. Be your best self this Christmas for the people you’re with. Keep each other in your heart, no matter how far away they may be. May it be the best Christmas you’ve ever had..
My friend is my age, has a family, but has needed to take leave from his job. His wife is worried about him all the time. His kids are, too. His condition is getting progressively worse, and his doctor's have told him to take it easy.
This old friend of mine is dying. He has an inoperable form of cancer that has decided to take the express lane through his capillaries in the last few weeks. His doctors, his wife, and his children know that this will be his last Christmas.
Now, I was told of his condition two weeks ago and it didn't really come as a surprise. I have seen him deteriorate in distinct measure and seeing this kind of change really saddened me. When his wife called to confirm my suspicions, I went to see him right away. I thought he could use the time away, and I needed to see him again.
When a friend is dying, the conversation will inevitably turn itself toward his mortality. It just can't be avoided. He knows it, he knows you know it, and the coffee tends to speed up the conversation. Once we both got past the "how are you's" and "man, how about those Chargers?", the words between us began to lag a little, so I thought I’d ask a question that I wanted to know. It was getting late, and I thought I’d just throw this one out there.
I said "Hey. Please forgive me for asking this but I kinda need to know. What will you miss about all this?" waving my hand around the coffee shop.
He said "You mean this dump you dragged me into?"
I said "No, no...I mean, about this. The people. Your family. The memories....what comes to mind that you'd miss?
His first response was almost immediate: "Christmas, man. I'm going to miss Christmas. I'm going to miss the sounds, mostly. All that noise. It's like music to me. And the lights. Man it's like heaven. You know, I figure that heaven has a wing set up for Christmas all year long. No matter what kind of cloud your on, no matte where you are, you can snap your fingers and be anywhere from London during Dickens time or a Christmas from your childhood. I hope I get there...."
I ordered us another couple of cups.
"You know, I look forward to Christmas every year. I start thinking about it in the summer. I hang my first string of white lights around the patio in July. I just don't know a time every year that has such love, such an outpouring of love, built into so many days of the year. In past Christmas', I've been alone, in jail, on the road, and really sick. I've been with strangers, with family, and at work and you know what? I've never, ever had a bad Christmas. Not one. To me, they’ve all been wonderful. Christmas. Whenever there is that much good in the air, whenever we stop thinking about ourselves and begin to think about somebody else with as much energy and focus and love that we do around Christmas, all is good. And I'm going to miss that.
Before I leave this earth, I'm going to tell my kids just that. That Christmas is always good, no matter what. We are here, together, as a family and as a part of the greater whole of love and kindness. I hope that they keep that in their heart always, and I hope that they think of me next Christmas...I will miss them, I guess. You know, I miss them already."
We finished the coffees and headed back to his place. His lights have been since early November and won't come down until mid-January. NASA can see his apartment from satellite photos.
I hugged my friend goodbye, I got into my car, and I drove away. And as I hit the freeway heading home, I softly sang "Oh Holy Night" to myself. And as I looked back over my shoulder to take one last look at my friend's apartment, I thought about him.
Christmas is the gift of each other. Be with somebody this Christmas. If you’re alone, give yourself to the poor, the elderly, and the sick. If you’re with somebody, give of yourself fully to them. Be your best self this Christmas for the people you’re with. Keep each other in your heart, no matter how far away they may be. May it be the best Christmas you’ve ever had..
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